February 12, 2008

Why do people vote Republican?

It's occasionally good to remind ourselves of why some voters support the Republican Party. A list of reasons made the rounds a couple of years ago. I don't know its author, but one of the online sources is Extremely Smart Humor.

To vote Republican, one must accept these Articles of Faith:

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of gays, liberals, immigrants, Democrats and everyone else you hate and/or fear.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U. N. resolutions against Iraq .

5. The best way to support the military is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

6. If adolescents are not informed of birth control measures, they won't have sex.

7. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

8. Having the top one percent of Americans become even more wealthy while more than 4.1 million Americans slip into poverty is a huge success for Bush economic policies.

9. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in public schools.

10. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

11. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

12. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to drum up support for a war in which thousands die — including well over 100,000 innocent civilians — is sound defense policy.

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