October 08, 2005

Texas fundies find gay undies irresistible

AUSTIN, TX -- Every soul who testified at the Texas Senate State Affairs Committee hearing on May 19 on the topic of a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage and civil unions had more to say than they could cram into the three minutes made available to each speaker. There were so many people who wanted to testify that the hearing was held in a packed Senate Chamber instead of a committee room. For upwards of 10 hours, they took their turns, the on-deck speaker sitting beside the one who was already testifying.
After meeting a few of the Texans who are bringing Christian Fundamentalism into state politics, you may never see them in the same light again. Their glowing descriptions of gay behavior and god's blessings make "turning gay" sound more heavenly than anything this side of the pearly gates. What heterosexual could resist such temptation?

Take these amazing inducements offered up by Sister Mary Ann Markarian:

- Ninety-two percent of all gay males engage in rimming...
- Forty-seven percent of all males engage in fisting...
- Twenty-nine percent of all homosexual males engage in golden showers...
- The median age of homosexual men dying with AIDS is thirty-nine years old...
- The median age of all other homosexual men dying from other causes is forty-two...
- The median age of death for lesbians is forty-five...
- Only one percent of homosexuals die of old age...
- Only three percent ever live to age fifty-five....

Markarian concludes:
Now I know this is not real pleasant, but the truth needs to come out. When we say the word "gay," we're really just hiding because we're really not understanding what that word really entails, what it means, what people are doing, and why this can hurt society as a whole. It's never been an accepted lifestyle. If we allow this to become accepted, then the numbers will grow astronomically. Now they want to take it into the classroom, to teach our children that this is okay. Our society is two to three percent gay, but if you teach children that homosexuality is okay, then we're going to have a lot of problems.

Think about it, and then tell me that God doesn't have some problem with this whole thing, that God isn't speaking. It's unnecessary to put my name in the paper; you can just say that "God said," and here's the statistics.
Lordy! Lock up the children -- they'll never resist! And self-proclaimed spokespersons for God would never lie... would they?

3 comments:

Gary said...

Who the fuck is this supposed Christian? Oh wait, before I get too upset, I must remeber this is not only a "christian" but a TEXAN!

From the left-behind epi-center, I am not surprised!

What amazes me is that anyone thinks a gay person is recruited?

I mean come on! The only reason that someone would willingly choose to become part of this group that is morally accepted as a target of hate, fear, and worse would be because the sex was so much more amazing than that of hetero's.

I will grant that may be true, but if that's the case then all the men would be gay!

Christians get a grip and come to grips with a reality of God. He or she put us here this way in His own image.

Fags might be judged at the gate, but it will be right beside you! For judging others and not following the christian conventions of love. You have missed the point of the "big picture" lesson of God. I venture that might piss him off just as much!

More to the point, if any of you higher-than-thow Christians have broken God's law. Any of them! They you too will be in Hell with the rest. You forget, there isn't a scoring system that makes one sin greater than another. Have you coveted someone's wife? Well, sad to say, if it exists, see ya in hell!

aikane said...

Gary, evidently this woman is well-known in religious circles. And these people are only repeating what is accepted as truth by the so-called Christian crowd. They have their own "facts." She was so certain of herself she didn't even want her name used -- "just say that God said...."

Lies work, though, especially against gays, and the bigger the lie the more it's repeated.

I try to remain optimistic for the future, to avoid rage, hate and depression -- but sometimes it's difficult.

Gary said...

I know you do.

We have discussed this kinda stuff before. ;-)

I just got on a twist and thought it worth mentioning, on the off chance, some fundy-freak came a knocking.

Nice job with the post. On an aside, I am still picking veggies and dahlias up here. The weather is crazy...no frost in October is really strange...but I am not complaining!