February 13, 2006

Quails' Gate on ice: the big chill

Still no answers on Cheney's latest corker

If the Democrats have any political sense at all (and apparently they don't), they'll beat this story to death with humor. Imagine the Republican glee (and media piling-on) if Clinton or Gore or Dean or Kerry had come so close to blowing somebody away -- and failed so miserably.

Just when we think the incompetence level of the Bush administration demands their full surrender (indictment or impeachment -- whichever comes first), somebody fires off another round. Yesterday we learned it's Cheney's turn again, as if he hadn't already shamed himself enough for one lifetime -- or nine.

This afternoon you may have watched, as I did, press spokesman Scottie face the snarling pack of spotted pointers (ha!), the White House press corps. After a weekend of preparation, he broke from his blind and gave us ... more evasion than a whole covey of quail (although less impressive than AF-1's flight pattern of 9/11/01).

Explaining his complete lack of new information, Scottie duly repeated the lines given to him by the VP's office: Information was still being collected throughout Saturday night and Sunday, and the White House needed full, complete and accurate information before going public.

Very good, Mr. Highly-Paid Mouthpiece-for-Incompetence. So where the hell, two days later, is the information that took so long to collect? Still in the deep freeze, evidently.

The Quails' Gate chill was likely designed (1) to see whether the story would stay frozen; and (2) to give Cheney and his ice goons time to concoct a drink the public would swallow.

Following Scottie's splendid performance of saying nothing, one Faux News reporter, mouthing as always the official White House line of misdirection, couldn't resist commenting on the "press's feeding frenzy," calling it "a tempest in a teapot". He did admit, however, that waiting a day before leaking the story (and then to a local Texas newspaper) may not have been the "best call," seeing as how many questions had been raised by the delaying tactic.

So far, here's what we know (and perhaps all we will ever know). Awards are in order:

  • It was the victim's fault that Cheney shot him. [Award: open-backed hospital gown]
  • It was a private citizen's prerogative to report the incident to a local newspaper -- a day after the shooting, and too late for the Sunday newspapers and news shows. [Award: blue ribbon and a medal; see photo]
  • It was the Bush administration's responsibility to collect the facts and report them in a timely fashion. [Award: red wine vinegar and oil spill for the tossed truth salad, peppered generously]
  • It is the press's duty to find the answers to questions that Scottie still can not (or will not) answer, two days after the shooting ... and counting. [Predicted award: a runaway bride's* unused gown and an overused veil of distraction]
Now, can we please uncork a bottle of Quails' Gate and get it breathing?

See . . .

*Feb. 16 update: With no bride willing to cooperate this week, the media resorted to a runaway bitch . . .


Mentis Fugit said...

Cheney looks more like the Famous Grouse type to me. In a hip flask.

aikane said...


Agreed ... a grouse without the color.

aikane said...

I'm hearing a lot of chatter that "transparency" would have been the best policy, and this whole incident would have amounted to nothing.

Not true, in my opinion. If immediate action to inform the public had been in Cheney's best interest, that's what would have happened. Stall equals coverup, almost without exception, and especially in this case.

Maybe Cheney was drunk;maybe no one else was nearby when he shot the man and Cheney had to concoct a story -- meaning it's likely they waited for the man to recover sufficiently to know whether he would support Cheney's story.

MadMustard said...

Aikane Leo, don't wait to open your bottle of Quails' Gate until we know the full story on this one. Wines do improve with time, but republican scandals will make you thirsty!

This is a great write-up. The quote: "Imagine the Republican glee (and media piling-on) if Clinton or Gore or Dean or Kerry had come so close to blowing somebody away -- and failed so miserably." That's exactly what I have been thinking for the last few days.

BlondeSense Liz said...

Oh my god. I thought it was a joke.. but it's not!

aikane said...

Real as a heart attack. :-)