April 21, 2006

Oh yes, I'm the Great Decider

"I read that we were running focus groups to determine who the vice president ought to be. Forget it; it's not happening," he said. "I'm a good decider." (George W. Bush, June 17, 2000)

We face "an adversary that poses a threat, [a] serious threat, to the security of the United States of America"-- one that "attempts to impose its demands across time zones, continents, oceans, and beyond. With brutal consistency, it stifles free thought and crushes new ideas. It disrupts the defense of the United States and places the lives of men and women in uniform at risk. It's the Pentagon bureaucracy." (Donald Rumsfeld, Sept. 10, 2001)

"I'm the decider, and I decide what's best." (George W. Bush, April 17, 2006)

The Great Decider
Tune from "The Great Pretender" by the Platters
Lyrics by me

Oh yes, I'm the Great Decider
Pretending that I'm doing well;
In my need to play butch, I decide too much
I'm sending the country to hell.

Oh yes, I'm the Great Decider
Adrift in a world of my own;
I never played the game, and to my dying shame
Sent others to die far from home.


Too real is this feeling of lordliness;
Too real when I feel what secrets can't conceal.

Oh yes, I'm the Great Decider
Dick Cheney and I share the crown;
When I heard duty call, my conscience went AWOL;
I'm fondling Karl's playbook like a clown
Deciding, keeping Rummy around.


Too real is this feeling of make believe;
Too real when I feel what these beady eyes conceal.

Oh-oh ye-esh, I'm the Great Divider (woo-woo)
Still smirking as better men die;
The illness found in me is easy now to see --
Delusions still bringing me down
Pretending I'm wearing a crown
Deciding while I'm still around.


Update, April 25:
In surfing the web today, I discovered at least three versions of "The Decider." Can't say whether it's a case of "great minds running together," but when I revised the lyrics to "The Great Pretender," I had no knowledge of the others.

At least one of the versions is dated before mine, and I have no way of knowing whether it was backdated (both were cached by Google two days after my blog entry). Versions of other songs have also appeared in recent days -- the subject matter obviously lends himself to parody. C'est la vie.


azdave said...


aikane said...

Thanks Dave.

Missouri Mule said...

You crazy kid. Very funny!

aikane said...

Finding the right picture was the hardest part. The words wrote themselves (although I did hafta clean'em up a tad so they's suitable for karaoke, cabaret, macrame.... that sorta thing).